Suicide and the loss of a person
Alright,
I know I have not posted lately, I have been in the middle of a move, and September seemed to be the month that never ended. With the hurricanes to fires, to the white house showing no compassion to the world and the country I would understand how that left many others helpless and distressed. So, suicide.
Let me be super clear, I have attempted suicide in the past. A total of 12 different times, and the final being in 2010. I lost everything when that happened. Some of them being family members and I think all of my friends but one. I have become someone to argue for and defend the people who have mental illnesses, and I will continue to be that friend or human you need to just be there.
Every time I had attempted, I did not call on a friend. I did not ask for a family member because I felt like "I was a burden" and no one could stand me and I didn't want to involve my friends. That is a really dark place to be. The suicide hot line for me was useless because I didn't want to just talk about the issue with someone on the phone. I felt abandoned by people.
I lost a friend in the past week to suicide, and I think I've had enough of all of this.
He was bullied. He had friends, but couldn't talk about something that made him feel so alone. He couldn't call me because he didn't have my number. I am friends with several people online, but I couldn't go to to him in Florida if he even had my number because I live in Milwaukee Wisconsin. It feels even worse knowing that you could of helped someone if they had your number and you knew someone in the area who could sit and hang out.
When you are suicidal, what I've found it hits you but lingers. You get stuck in it, and because you stop caring about your life, you house gets messy, your life gets messy, it just sinks in more and you end up trying to escape your hell because you just can't deal with the pain of your own life.
I WANT TO STOP THAT.
I want to send a message out. If you are suicidal, can you please just go online. Go through a friends list. Find someone who you know but don't know. Someone you can find who you think can just come over. I honestly think that if you reach out to someone who you don't even know well would be more than happy to come sit at your house and just chill. Grab some food and play video games or something. There isn't a magic pill that can end your pain, but a bullet can. With that bullet though, you will cause so much pain and devastation to the people around you. You will leave your family or close friends to come find your lifeless body and they will hate themselves and everything they are because they had no idea and couldn't save you. Some people can't handle the drama, I know. Some people can't be around someone who just sucks the happiness out of a room. Honestly, I question those people in the end. Where it is a normal and healthy thing to do to make those boundaries, it's also one of the hardest things to do.
So, I have decided to look into a way to create a group. One you can either volunteer for, or call upon. You need help to get out of the dark moment we can come for you. Many of us will not be medical professionals, but we can help you get thought the night or week. We will stand there with you, we will help you get to a hospital, or a doctor. WE WILL BE THERE. We will come like the wings of an angel and help you out of the dark hole you are in. WE will stand with you against your demons and fight with you.
Just so no one else has to die in vain, or be alone when they need help at a crucial moment in time.
I know I have not posted lately, I have been in the middle of a move, and September seemed to be the month that never ended. With the hurricanes to fires, to the white house showing no compassion to the world and the country I would understand how that left many others helpless and distressed. So, suicide.
Let me be super clear, I have attempted suicide in the past. A total of 12 different times, and the final being in 2010. I lost everything when that happened. Some of them being family members and I think all of my friends but one. I have become someone to argue for and defend the people who have mental illnesses, and I will continue to be that friend or human you need to just be there.
Every time I had attempted, I did not call on a friend. I did not ask for a family member because I felt like "I was a burden" and no one could stand me and I didn't want to involve my friends. That is a really dark place to be. The suicide hot line for me was useless because I didn't want to just talk about the issue with someone on the phone. I felt abandoned by people.
I lost a friend in the past week to suicide, and I think I've had enough of all of this.
He was bullied. He had friends, but couldn't talk about something that made him feel so alone. He couldn't call me because he didn't have my number. I am friends with several people online, but I couldn't go to to him in Florida if he even had my number because I live in Milwaukee Wisconsin. It feels even worse knowing that you could of helped someone if they had your number and you knew someone in the area who could sit and hang out.
When you are suicidal, what I've found it hits you but lingers. You get stuck in it, and because you stop caring about your life, you house gets messy, your life gets messy, it just sinks in more and you end up trying to escape your hell because you just can't deal with the pain of your own life.
I WANT TO STOP THAT.
I want to send a message out. If you are suicidal, can you please just go online. Go through a friends list. Find someone who you know but don't know. Someone you can find who you think can just come over. I honestly think that if you reach out to someone who you don't even know well would be more than happy to come sit at your house and just chill. Grab some food and play video games or something. There isn't a magic pill that can end your pain, but a bullet can. With that bullet though, you will cause so much pain and devastation to the people around you. You will leave your family or close friends to come find your lifeless body and they will hate themselves and everything they are because they had no idea and couldn't save you. Some people can't handle the drama, I know. Some people can't be around someone who just sucks the happiness out of a room. Honestly, I question those people in the end. Where it is a normal and healthy thing to do to make those boundaries, it's also one of the hardest things to do.
So, I have decided to look into a way to create a group. One you can either volunteer for, or call upon. You need help to get out of the dark moment we can come for you. Many of us will not be medical professionals, but we can help you get thought the night or week. We will stand there with you, we will help you get to a hospital, or a doctor. WE WILL BE THERE. We will come like the wings of an angel and help you out of the dark hole you are in. WE will stand with you against your demons and fight with you.
Just so no one else has to die in vain, or be alone when they need help at a crucial moment in time.
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